The Connection Factor:
How Schools Can Build a Sense of Belonging

The past couple of years have seen a doubling down of effort to enhance pupils’ sense of belonging in schools, with links being drawn to wellbeing, motivation and absenteeism, as well as academic achievement.

Although particular targeted interventions show signs of promise, improving belonging typically involves whole-school systematic and cultural changes. This relies on building the right foundations, starting with relationships in the classroom. When relational inclusion is prioritised, we ensure every pupil feels valued, we demonstrate that their contributions matter, and we invite them into a shared sense of place and reference. There are no quick fixes, but backing this up with plenty of opportunities for cooperative learning, peer bonding, and strong inclusive practice can have a positive impact on pupils’ self-esteem and has the potential to improve their sense of belonging.

Lack of belonging an issue for UK schools – but potential signs of improvement

Data released after the pandemic illustrates the problem of belonging in UK schools. An analysis of TIMSS data between 2019 and 2023 has shown a stark decline in pupils’ emotional engagement with school after transitioning to secondary level; a drop noticeably more pronounced in England compared to other countries.

Lately, the picture is perhaps more hopeful. Survey results from the DfE’s Pupil Experiences in School report show a 12 percentage point increase in the number of secondary pupils stating they felt they belonged at their school ‘most or every day in the past week’ in May 2025, compared to the same time the year prior. Time will tell whether these green shoots of improvement can be sustained.

It’s worth remembering that the survey also showed that 16% of secondary pupils said there was “rarely” or “never” an adult who “really cares about me” in school, an improvement from previous years, but a demonstration of the work still to do. The problem of belonging is less pronounced in primary schools, but it is still something that needs to be addressed, especially amongst pupils with SEND.

An intentional system for maintaining positive staff-pupil relationships

You’d be hard-pressed to find a teacher who doesn’t value and pursue positive relationships with their students. Yet stretched timetables and the pressures of meeting targets can erode relationships over time. By way of example, a 2024 University of Bath report found that secondary pupils felt their sense of psychological safety and belonging was undermined by several factors, such as being put on the spot, having misunderstandings dismissed as ‘laziness,’ or being treated unfairly. These classroom experiences directly contribute to a wider sense of isolation from adults.

Dr. Larissa Gaias from the University of Massachusetts recommends that schools make time for an intentional approach to relationship building. “Relationships in general, regardless of their nature, without intentional efforts tend to degrade over time,” Gaias says, “we need intentional ongoing efforts to keep those positive relationships intact”.

Some things to think about, in order to follow Gaias’s advice include:

Revisiting the Establish, Maintain, Restore (EMR) method

While the Establish, Maintain, Restore (EMR) framework is a staple in many classrooms, its success relies on being fully embedded and prioritised across school, with staff given time to reflect. Segmenting pupil registers into establish, maintain or restore categories can help teachers and behaviour teams build a bigger picture of their student population, spotting not only individuals, but also trending groups of pupils that might need greater focus or coaching support. Categories are divided into the following;

• Establish: For new pupils. Focus on getting as much background information as possible, “talk them up” to other adults, use activities to get to know them, send positive notes home, show genuine excitement for their presence, and give one-to-one time to establish psychological safety.
• Maintain: For the steady middle. Don’t let them become “invisible.” Keep the momentum with low-stakes high-impact moves: warm greetings at the door, quick “weekend check-ins”, “this or that” voting for conversation starters, celebrating achievements, giving targeted, derserved praise and recognising effort, not just outcome.
• Restore: For pupils where the bond has frayed. This requires the most intensive effort, prioritising empathetic listening, collaborative problem solving and structured restorative sessions to repair trust, including (where necessary) admitting when we may have overreacted or made mistakes.

Placing restorative practice at the heart of behaviour policy

Restorative practice is a key part of the EMR approach. While consequences for behaviour remain, it redirects focus away from re-instating obedience towards rebuilding relationships by listening to students. Moving away from punative punishment can be an essential part of helping students feel heard and fairly treated in school. A Teach First report noted that five out of the six secondary schools who scored highly on indexes of inclusion and attainment used disciplinary systems grounded in restorative practice.

Some schools quoted in the report above, ensure that if detentions have to be issued, they are always held same day so teachers can follow up with reflective conversations and an all-important fresh start the next morning. Others have appointed a designated Head of Year who has purely pastoral responsibilities to help immediately reset behaviour before punishment is necessary.

For restorative practice to work for all pupils, the process must be both accessible and adaptable. For neurodivergent individuals, traditional verbal scripting can be a barrier. Effective schools adapt this by using visual supports (like comic strip conversations) and ensuring students are fully regulated before attempting a restorative dialogue – even if that means waiting until the next day.

Finding a system to notice the good things

Simple visual cues, such as gratitude boards in corridors or ‘hype boards’ in classrooms, can serve as effective prompts for connection. By dividing these boards into sections for both teacher and student to leave positive sticky notes to recognise weekly wins and positive actions, teachers can build a regular habit of positive affirmation.

This example is from a US classroom, but still demonstrates a potential system to notice the good things.
Credit @Loolislearning. Video available here

Tapping into a shared sense of place

Mariya Mobeen is an Assistant Principal in a large mainstream secondary in Bradford and Lead Tutor on our course, Educational Leadership through a Cross Cultural Lens. Her school has started offering tours of the local community to all new teachers. “We realised that staff who have the best relationships with students are those who know the community really well,” she says.

Mariya explains that, as well as encouraging a “shared frame of reference” so staff can easily converse with students about their lives outside of school, it can also make lessons more engaging. “A local area of interest can also be incorporated into geography lessons, a takeaway shop can raise a smile in a maths question – there are so many ways to show young people that their world matters to us too and to help teachers and pupils feel that they have this shared space and connection,” she adds. It can also help the curriculum feel more purposeful.

Regular staff training in trauma-informed practice and attachment

Most schools have some level of training, but this is not the same as regular scenario-based practice and a consistent shift away from “punishment” to both logical and consistent consequences for unwanted behaviour. Staff also need the headspace and skills to practice self-care and avoid empathy drain.

Peer relationships – we are like a family here

Many pupils report that having close friends and feeling respected by their peers is important for their sense of belonging. It is no great surprise, perhaps, that pupils who are persistently absent rate their ability to make friends as 15% lower than those who are not.  Some things that can help include;

Peer-based restorative practice

Large-scale US studies have shown that the use of practices such as restorative circles can reduce feelings of victimisation and can strengthen a sense of belonging in schools (Eisman et al., 2020; Melendez-Torres et al., 2021). A trial of the Learning Together intervention at 40 secondary schools in the South East of England has also shown a significant reduction in bullying behaviour and improvement in wellbeing, compared to a control group.

Encouraging a “family ethos”

Several schools have had success trying to bring in elements of nurturing and caring relationships in smaller groups akin to those found in a family environment. In Mariya Mobeen’s school in Bradford they run an additional learning provision for students with educational needs. The numbers within this setting are smaller with a higher adult to child ratio. At lunchtimes, students participate in family dining where they are encouraged to take turns serving their group, rather than queuing up at the canteen.

“Pupils are seated 10-12 to a table, one person serves from a large dish, another fills the desserts, one person tidies up etc, and often teachers will come and sit with them,” Mariya says. “It’s a really lovely initiative that helps pupils bond and socialise over a meal and has been especially useful for helping children who have faced adverse circumstances before they join us.”

Introducing more circle time in primary and secondary contexts

Jenny Mosley, an educational consultant who specialises in circle time, observes that it has often fallen off the agenda of many lessons, even in primary schools, save those involving the very youngest pupils. Yet the pupils she interviews speak of how gathering with peers in a circle “gave me a family,” and headteachers often are surprised about how effective it can be to enable pupils to tackle emotionally challenging topics.

Exploring Circle Solutions

Circle Solutions is a pedagogy for encouraging healthy relationships developed by Dr. Sue Roffey. It is similar to circle time, but adheres to a more structured philosophy drawing on positive psychology, without reference to specific incidents. The aim is for students to take the lead and come up with solutions to real or imaginary scenarios, referring to people in the third-person. It is deliberately structured to allow many students to participate in small groups, while maintaining psychological safety and giving children the ability to impact their community.

Empathy training

Two things to highlight include the LEANS resource, designed to help students aged 8-12 learn about neurodiversity, and the Empathy Training programme for 5-18-year-olds run by Empathy Studios. The latter has been found to have positive effects on teacher-rated empathy scores, emotional literacy and curiosity about other cultures in a recent study conducted by researchers from Cambridge University. Interestingly, empathy training might benefit some teachers as well. A brief empathetic mindset intervention (using maths teachers at two secondary schools in England as participants) demonstrated a significantly postitive impact on students’ feelings of belonging, as well as reducing suspensions and detentions.

Creating more opportunities for cooperative learning

What if, every so often, we set ourselves the challenge of noting down how we might support a belonging objective in lessons alongside the learning objective? While there’s not a great deal of research linking belonging specifically to cooperative learning, there are a significant number of studies that show it can lead to reduced anxiety, higher self-esteem, and improved releationships with peers, compared to settings where it is not prioritised. (Johnson et al, 2000, Van Ryzin et al, 2020, Roseth et al, 2008). This only works, however, if participation is truly equal. Revisiting strategies like Kagan’s Cooperative learning techniques, and the Jigsaw method reduces the likelihood of pupil contributions becoming unbalanced and one or two students dominating.

Targeted interventions – I can grow my sense of belonging 

Two very different, but established interventions, both involving aspects of positive psychology, include;

• The social belonging intervention. Developed by a team led by Stanford psychologist Gregory Walton, the intervention has shown strong, reliably replicated results in the US, especially with students from minority backgrounds. Students starting school or college are shown survey results from older peers graduating in order to normalise the feeling of not immediately ‘fitting in’. The older students then go through guided reflection, enabling them to provide written or video advice to the younger students and explain how things can, and do, get better. Younger students who were exposed to this showed improved persistence, better mental wellbeing and were less likely to drop out of college. It is currently being trialled in four English secondary schools.
  
  
• ELSA sessions. Research suggests that access to ELSA (Emotional Literacy Support Assistant) sessions can give pupils who feel isolated the skills to build and maintain relationships with others and develop a feeling of positivity in school (Bravery & Harris, 2009; Dunn, 2020; Purcell et al., 2023). A recent literature review in Educational and Child Psychology draws a clear link between ELSA and school belonging. Qualitative feedback captured in this 2024 evaluation summary shows headteachers report a wide range of anecdotal benefits, including increased attendance and self-esteem.

For a review of the evidence behind the ELSA programme see also: 7 Ways ELSAs Can Improve Children’s Mental Health

Inclusion and representation – other people like me belong here

A tokenistic approach to inclusion can widen the belonging gap. Mariya Mobeen emphasises that inclusion must be threaded throughout everything you do and recommends conducting a belonging and inclusion audit. “Try walking the school and asking yourself, what languages, what cultures, what festivals can you see within your school and how welcoming does it seem?” she says.  

“If there’s a visual timetable, for example, are the words written in some of the students’ home languages as well? If you go to the library, can you easily find books with main characters that represent different faiths, cultures, socio-economic backgrounds, ethnicity, physical appearance, etc.? If you regularly attended assembly, would you have heard from neurodivergent people and those from different faiths or backgrounds – either directly or through narrative accounts?”

Some of the things you might ask yourself as part of this also include:

• Can students see themselves in the trusted adults available? Of course, having a good representation in your staff base is the ideal scenario. Some schools have even taken to actively recruiting ex-pupils to school support staff, teaching and SLT positions to help improve this. If that’s not possible, look at what outside agencies you could draw upon for cohorts that need it most. At Mariya’s school, absenteeism amongst Eastern European students has been a particular problem. One of the initiatives that has been most effective involves using an outreach agency made up of staff from this particular community to do weekly group sessions with the students. They address issues around school absence and aim to make coming to school seem ‘irresistible’. This can include reward initiatives like bowling or a pizza party at the end of a series of sessions.
  
  
• Are different voices represented in the curriculum? Are students only exposed to black history during one dedicated month, or all year round? Will they have studied a diverse range of authors by the time they leave school?
  
  
• How are staff informed about student backgrounds? Consider holding regular practice clinics to share pupil profiles of new joiners with all staff, so that staff are aware of pupil backgrounds and experiences prior to joining.
  
  
• Can neurodivergent students fully participate? Understandably, many pupils report that the ability to engage with the curriculum is an important part of feeling part of their school community. Researchers interviewing children with SEND aged 3-16 about belonging, identified teaching and learning as a key theme, alongside the environment, relationships and extra-curricular activities. Using inclusion by design goes a long way to address this, alongside a diverse curriculum offer, plenty of multisensory learning and well-designed spaces for learning and recuperation. When it comes to specific activities like reading, however, it may also involve offering greater choice, having dyslexia-friendly Barrington Stoke books readily available, for example, as well as the right specialist support.
  
  Some changes might be small. To support students who need more processing time,  a “heads-up” on a discussion agenda/outline might be helpful. Alternatively, a simple post-it note system can let that individual know you’ll remember to circle back to them if they want to contribute. There’s nothing more frustrating for a pupil than finding their voice just as the conversation shifts to something else. If you are asking questions or doing a brainstorming task, Dr Helene Cohen recommends pausing and letting pupils know that you’ll be asking for feedback after a certain ammount of time, in order to communicate there is no need for the pupil to be anxious about having to come up with an answer on the spot.

Read also: How Teaching Assistants can support
and champion dyslexic students.

Read also: Improving the wellbeing of autistic girls in school

Building character and agency – there are many ways I can allow myself to belong

While low self-esteem can be caused by many factors, it can be triggered when students feel their value is measured through academic achievement alone. This can create a negative spiral, limiting participation in the very activities that would otherwise help to improve mental wellbeing and build belonging. Some thoughts on how to address this include;

Extending enrichment clubs

As recently reported in the Tes, Redhill Academy Trust have had such success with their enrichment programme in which pupil premium pupils who signed up to just one extra session experienced an average attendance boost of 4.4 percentage points over the term. While we should be wary of using attendance as a direct proxy for belonging, the positive impact of enrichment clubs is being borne out in wider research, while recent reports capturing student voice demonstrate how they enhance teacher-pupil relationships and give pupils something to look forward to. A 2023 Australian study also found that participating in an enrichment club not only predicts higher scores on belonging and mental health indexes, but that the effects are still present two years down the line.

Having a range of sporting and non-sporting activities, creating girls-only groups, non-competitive groups, options that neurodivergent pupils have expressed an interest in and no or low-lost activities are just some ways to encourage participation. Staffing needs to be considered, but there are creative ways to manage this, such as hiring PE TA apprentices.

Embedding or revisiting your character curriculum

Focusing on character-led values and goals can help shift focus away from purely academic achievements, as well as build agency. Not all teachers receive explicit training in character education, however, and it can be a weak area of the curriculum. To improve belonging, Harris Academy Chafford Hundred revamped their character curriculum to include specific HACH Character Traits, a Character Hub and Character Ambassadors using shared vocabulary that’s consistently explained. House systems are just one way to celebrate character traits, and can work especially well when teachers are able to earn points for houses on certain occasions, e.g. sports day, and sixth formers have some autonomy leading them.

Tracking and celebrating non-academic achievement

Carr Manor, an all-through school in Leeds, recently featured as a case study school in a milestone report on the value of enrichment clubs released by Centre for Young Lives, and is frequently held up as an example of a school where pupils feel like they belong. The school has used an dedicated app to allow students to earn badges in extra-curricular activities that are added to personal Recognition Timelines. The timelines are linked to different aspects of their character curriculum, enabling qualitative and quantitative data can be mapped against this and recognised throughout school. It is also made available to coaches in their coaching programme, where groups of 8-10 pupils (of mixed ages) meet three times a week with the same member of staff throughout the school, focusing on character development, celebrating achievements, as well as giving practical health, careers and financial advice.

Capturing and acting on pupil voice

Pupils feel a renewed sense of agency when their opinions and recommendations are listened to and implemented. By way of an example, Harris Science Academy in East London noticed that girls, in particular, had low scores on measures of belonging. They created a designated female-only space in order to provide a safe place for girls every lunchtime. Senior female members of staff and various external organisations then held workshops to explore concerns and come up with improvements. Sense of belonging scores improved considerably amongst girls once this had been put in place. The full case study is on the ImpactEd website here.

For tips about inclusive ways to capture pupil voice read also:
Strengthening pupil voice in wellbeing initiatives

Staff, parents and local community

When staff and parents and carers also feel a sense of belonging it helps build pride and purpose within the school community. Meanwhile, drawing links between different centres of belonging between school, home and the wider community, can also help pupils feel like they are part of a network and that different aspects of their identity are mutually valued and understood. Bronfenbrenner called these interconnecting links the mesosystem and emphasised that strengthening these connections can help improve children’s development. We can also think about this through the lens of belonging, focusing on the following:

• Parental engagement. Research tells us that there is a consistent relationship between increasing parental engagement and improved attendance, behaviour and student achievement. It’s also worth reflecting that the same study found that parents labeled as ‘hard to reach’ often view the school as being in the same category. 
  
• Showing all staff are valued. Developing a close-knit community that outwardly demonstrates pride in their school can be extremely difficult when staff are grappling with burnout, or considering leaving the profession. While the nature of pressure on TAs is different, the sense of feeling left out or forgotten about can still hinder their sense of belonging. 
  
• Community outreach programmes. When school is obviously a welcoming place for lots of different types of local support groups, faiths, interest groups, it becomes more easily identified as a place where many voices are heard and respected. It also gives students the choice to open up about other aspects of their identity. 

Relationships at the heart of belonging

Belonging, at its heart, is about seeking out more significant relationships – something that’s deceptively easy to say and harder, in practice, to cultivate and maintain, especially with those pupils who are already disengaged. 

Doing this often means going back to basics, prioritising check-ins, creating space to focus on relationships and restorative practice – and it may require intentional systems and strategies in the short-term. It also means prioritising opportunities for group problem solving and teambuilding activities that allow young people to connect.

Once relationships are strengthened, then other factors can help grow a student’s sense of belonging, but this only works as long as barriers to inclusion aren’t already in the way. Schools that do this well are continuously looking for ways to offer a sense of purpose, offering alternatives to the naysayers, diversifying curriculum paths, generating a sense of school pride and celebrating all kinds of achievements together as a school community. This is underpinned by a leadership culture that allows teachers both autonomy and support.

Many young people today are lonely and seeking connection in all kinds of places, not all of them healthy or safe. It is dangerous for school leaders to make assumptions about who these pupils are; they are not just confined to secondary schools, they are not confined to one gender, sexual orientation or ethnic minority – they aren’t always the ones who will be already on your radar. This is why it’s so important that schools really listen and respond to their own pupils.

Building a stronger sense of belonging in school is arguably one of the most powerful ways to improve mental wellbeing and resilience in our children and young people. Fostering this sense of belonging is not merely an educational ideal, but a vital necessity for every student in our schools.

Our courses

You can find out more about how to conduct cross-cultural inclusion and belonging audits, identify specific areas of improvement, engage your school, parent and local community and carry out an action plan for change in our course; Educational Leadership Through a Cross-Cultural Lens.

Learn how to create an inclusive offering for autistic students, with a specific focus on addressing wellbeing and belonging in girls in our course: Contemporary Topics in Autism

Develop an action plan for belonging and tackle whole-school system-led change for mental health and wellbeing in our Masters in Mental Health and Wellbeing in Schools and Colleges, which includes advanced training for Senior Mental Health Leads.

Train to become an ELSA via the Level 5 Specialist Teaching Assistant apprenticeship, offered by our sister company, ESF Apprenticeships. 

Children’s Mental Health Week, run by charity Place2Be, is just around the corner. This year’s theme, This is My Place, focuses on belonging.

Many children still do not feel a strong sense of belonging in our schools. Data from the 2023 International Maths and Science Survey (TIMSS) demonstrated that by the time children reach fifteen, one in three feel like they don’t belong – one of the steepest drops in any OECD country. A 2024 report from London’s Violence Reduction Unit, produced not too dissimilar results – a third of primary aged students and 44% of secondary students in London did not feel a secure sense of belonging in school.

This Children’s Mental Health week, we’re supporting the many schools and professionals who have been tirelessly trying to to reverse this trend, with the aim to help every child feel happier in school.

Activity ideas for Primary and Secondary Schools

We’re taking things back to basics with some simple activities that can help pupils understand and connect to each other and their school community a little better. With a focus on connecting, collaborating and contributing, take a look at our creative activities and games below.

The Connection Factor: How Schools Can Build a Sense of Belonging

DfE data from May last year shows almost 1 in 3 pupils were not able to agree with the statement that they felt they belonged in school “most or every day in the past week.”

In our latest blog, we take a look at some of the barriers and facilitators to belonging, including exploring aspects of relational inclusion, some promising evidence-backed interventions and innovative individual school initiatives.

Why is belonging so important?

A sense of belonging, as Maslow identified, is a prerequisite for self-esteem, achievement and finding our sense of purpose in the world. When children feel accepted and valued in school, the sense that “I can be myself here,” and that “I belong here“, they gain the secure foundations to learn and achieve. Not only does this improve their chance of success in a purely academic context, but also as rounded young people with the resilience to persevere and fulfil their passion.

Research shows us that the extent to which students feel like they belong in school has a marked effect on motivation, engagement and academic performance (Korpershoek et al.,2019) as well as anxiety and depression (McMahon et al.,2008). Children with a higher sense of belonging in school are also much less likely to engage in behaviour such as drinking and smoking (Bonell et al., 2016). There may even be a link between how strongly students feel like they belong in their secondary school and later mental health outcomes as young adults. (Allen et al., 2024).

Other resources for Children’s Mental Health Week 2026!

• Visit the Place2Be website to download free assembly guides, activities and top tips for primary and secondary schools to build belonging. 
• PE software platform Imoves has teamed up with Davies Sports to create a free collection of play and dance activities and fun games for playground Belonging Zones . Resource available here 
• Raising Resilience is holding live online workshops for Year 3 classes on the topic of dealing with big emotions and how to return to calm. Sign up here
• The School of Kindness is offering free live virtual assemblies, resources and recorded workshops on kindness.
• Sue Roffey’s book, Circle Solutions for Student Wellbeing contains lots of brilliant ideas for using circle solutions across different age groups to encourage emotional literacy, overcome challenging situations, promote teamwork and build resilience and empathy.

Many pupils with learning differences face difficulties with emotional regulation, which can lead to anxiety, frustration, and isolation, manifesting as challenging behaviour.

In this blog, we’ve gathered the views of Darleen Grimsby, SENCO and Inclusion Officer for Unity Education Trust, Matthew Lee, Real Training tutor and Vice Principal of Wales International School, and Joanna Wood, who works as an Educational Psychologist for our sister company, Real Psychology. 

All three have worked across both mainstream and special educational settings and give their take on supporting pupils with more significant SEMH needs, with a particular focus on non-speaking individuals.

General principles for SEMH support

Map out needs for that individual child and identify gaps in the environment

With so many strategies to help pupils with SEND, the danger is that teachers and TAs can get bogged down in trying lots of tactics without understanding what’s going on in that particular individual child’s brain. This can make it harder to find the right fit for support. 

Darleen Gilbert has worked in education for over twenty years in both mainstream, PRU and special settings and currently leads initiatives across a network of schools in her trust. “We need to look at where developmental gaps might be first in order to get to a truly effective menu of ideas,” she explains. 

“In broad terms, a child’s needs can be bracketed under social and communicative, cognitive, physical/sensory, and emotional, yet so often these intertwine.” Darleen says. “Often, problems with challenging behaviour and emotional regulation come about because there is a need that hasn’t been explored – so we have to start with the most fundamental difficulties.”

For example, if a child has an underlying difficulty processing verbal information and has struggled with the transition to an older key stage where whole-class verbal instruction is more common, then this could be triggering anxiety. It might be best tackled by slowing the overall pace of lessons and implementing more visual scaffolds and take-a-break cards. 

On the other hand, if the pupil has not had basic needs of safety, trust and security met as a very young child, the behaviour might be triggered by issues with trauma or poor attachment. Without focusing first and foremost on establishing strong relationships and a sense of safety and trust, working on other adaptations or interventions will not be as effective in isolation. 

Two great tools Darleen highlights to help assess where foundations might be a bit more weak and wobbly are the Development Wall and Marion and Trott’s Pyramid of Learning, often used by occupational therapists. Teacher and parent observations play a vital role in helping the team around the child determine this.  

Help pupils feel confident that both adults and the learning environment will meet their needs

Darleen has recently conducted research into how autistic non-speaking pupils typically experience anxiety. Her study showed that the single most important factor influencing anxiety levels is the level of trust a child places in key adults and their ability to adapt the immediate environment to meet their needs.

“Once adults are able to combine approaches into a cohesive plan and a child feels the adult will acknowledge and respond to day-to-day needs and wants (even through a non-verbal gesture), then anxiety can be successfully managed. Self-regulation improves as this trust develops, ” says Darleen.

In mainstream environments where staff-to-pupil ratios are greater, this can be more challenging than special schools, but in either context, the role of the trusted adult doesn’t have to fall on one person’s shoulders.

Even if a particular member of staff is not available one hundred percent of the time, once the trust is established, it can be transferred. “If you have robust SEMH provision in place, children (and parents) know that when they set foot inside the building that the environment is going to meet and manage their needs. This allows other members of staff to reassure the child that Mrs Grimsby isn’t here today, but I know that you like to do this,” Darleen explains. 

Understand what each child’s triggers are and how to help them return from overwhelm

Neurodiversity impacts how a child’s nervous system functions when dysregulation tips into overwhelm. Children with special educational needs, especially autism and ADHD may have greater difficulty staying within their window of tolerance – where the prefrontal cortex is functioning normally to regulate executive function and impulse control.

When experiencing stress of any kind, the brain can go into a state of hyper-arousal, activating a fight/flight response – you may see this sometimes referred to as “meltdowns”. Alternatively, it can also go into hypo-arousal, characterised by disconnection, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating – often referred to as “shutdowns”.

When stress takes the form of cognitively challenging tasks, some recent research suggests that many autistic children tend towards ‘hyper-arousal’, although some also display patterns of hypo-arousal. Children with ADHD, however, tend towards hypo-arousal when tasks are passive and less engaging. 

Observing an individual child’s behaviour and triggers can help determine potential strategies, especially as responses can be highly individualised. The following universal principles apply however if a child is clearly beyond their window of tolerance: 

• Keep language to a minimum, or use no language at all

Using too much language can overwhelm any child outside of their window of tolerance. Avoid questions completely if possible, although if it’s a matter of absolute necessity/safeguarding to establish what has happened, a mini-whiteboard can help a non-speaking child. It also gives you time to think about the strategies you are going to use.

• Give children space, time and safe places 

Be mindful of your body language and tone and direct them to safe spaces. Calming strategies might include deep and slow breathing, gentle physical movement or listening to calming music. Hypo-aroused children will need strategies to raise their energy levels, perhaps bright lights and exercise in fresh air, hyper-aroused children tend to need darker, quieter spaces. 

• Use strategies recommended by professionals for pupils with more complex needs

Educational psychologists and/or occupational therapists will be able to recommend tailored, person-specific strategies that engage the proprioceptive system (connected to position and body movement), vestibular nervous system (regulating coordination and balance) and/or oral/tactile systems, for example, chewing dried fruits or a crunchy snack. 

• Watch for signs of the prefrontal cortex taking back control

Once the nervous system is retuned, you can use words and gestures to first empathise and then reason with the pupil. For non-speaking children with more complex needs, this often means observing behaviour then using appropriate communication strategies.

“There was one non-speaking child I was working with who had fled the classroom and the staff wanted to immediately intervene, but instead we waited,” Darleen recalls. “After a little while, the child touched their shoelaces; a clear sign that executive functioning was returning. The signs are there if you observe closely – but it was essential not to crowd the child or to expect a response straight away. We then used signs and language like ‘walking to hall or not yet?’ offering a simple option that they could respond to.”

Where special schools excel in supporting SEMH

Classroom environments are both flexible and predictable when required

Establishing clear routines, providing clearly structured tasks and using explicit rewards avoids the anxiety and anger that can erupt from the unknown and unpredictable. “If you don’t find a means to convey how activities will be sequenced and how and when they will explicitly finish, this can be incredibly anxiety-provoking for some autistic children,” says Matthew Lee, Vice Principal of Wales International School. 

Classrooms can also be zoned in such a way to help pupils participate in group work or go to areas where they can focus. You can read more about how to create an autism-friendly classroom and whole-school environments for pupils with more significant needs in Matthew’s full article here.

Curriculum adjustments are made wherever possible

“It’s not always easy for mainstream schools, but one of the best things I see from special schools is how well they adapt the curriculum to meet the interests of pupils,” says Dr. Jo Wood, Educational Psychologist at Real Psychology. “Instigating a love of learning and giving a sense of meaning and purpose to school can really make a difference to pupils’ mental health and overall engagement.” Could they take a extra-curricular workshop in something they enjoy, like health and beauty? Could a subject be extended to include a special interest? Could a pupil submit their work as a podcast, series of video shorts, animation or comic strip – at least in the early key stages before transitioning to more formal means of assessment? 

Pupils can express themselves in multiple ways and when needs and wants can’t be met, alternative choices are offered

“Two-way communication is really important, which is why, above and beyond “now and next” boards, I encourage use of “more and finished,” Darleen explains. “It’s a simple thing, but it empowers children to say whether they want to continue or whether they are done.” She also suggests choice boards and simple traffic light cards.

When it comes to managing wants and needs that you know you can’t fulfil, Darleen suggests reframing requests as a choice. 

“If at all possible, avoid saying ‘no’!” she advises. “A mini whiteboard can come in handy, so you can present two or more different options, even if you don’t immediately have a PECS or Widgit for that item. Once you’ve shown the visual, put it away and it signifies the end of the conversation. A child may not like either option and some may stamp their feet a little but they will find it harder to argue with a gestural prompt!”

When visuals are used, all staff should know what is to be offered in advance, especially during daily transitions. This avoids “inadvertently ending up with a good-cop bad cop situation,” Darleen cautions.

Relational behavioural policies are consistently embedded

Relational behavioural policies are the best way to reduce exclusions in any setting, but they work especially well for children with SEND. Continuous reinforcement is essential. “When a pupil displays challenging behaviour frequently, schools can fall out of the habit of following through with good reflective practice,” Matthew Lee observes, “but it’s really important to keep persisting. Once regulated, most children with special educational needs absorb more than might at first appear and following through with the technique allows you to get ahead of the behaviour next time. In order to help pupils, make sure you keep language to a minimum, simplify and keep questions you pose to a minimum and use real-world photos of facial expressions in your supporting visuals.” 

Taking the time to build trusting relationships where pupils feel adults respect and understand their needs is essential. Making sure all staff are regularly and consistently using trauma-informed approaches like PACE can reduce time spent out of class, as well as exclusions and suspensions.  

Staff are aligned around pupils’ SEMH needs and action plans

With a smaller number of pupils, all teaching staff and TAs are typically able to have weekly meetings to explore aspects of behaviour both in lessons and extra-curricular activities/play time that not every teaching professional might see. Specialist workshops are often held by SEMH outreach teams, who are trained social workers and staff regularly engage in scenario-based CPD. There’s also a tacit understanding that sometimes staff have to miss other meetings if they are spending time with a child who needs help to self-regulate.

Many special schools also make sure there is suitable supervision in place, helping staff process their own emotional responses. It may often be accompanied by methods such as solution circles providing a useful way of collectively troubleshooting behavioural problems.

Tips for commonly used SEMH strategies

Incredible 5-Point Scale

The “Incredible 5-Point Scale,” developed by Kari Dunn Burton and Mitzi Curtis, is a highly effective visual tool used to help children understand and manage their emotions, social interactions, and responses. You can read more about how to get the most out of the tool in our dedicated blog here.

Jo’s top tip: Although a template for a 5-Point Scale can be a good starting point, the most effective 5-Point Scales are personalised around a theme that the child will enjoy and recognise. 

Calm down kits

Teach the child how to use this in advance, then if they feel emotionally overwhelmed they can grab their personalised kit. They also satisfy needs such as sensory-seeking behaviours. Eventually it’s likely possible to reduce the number of things they need and frequency at which they need to access them. 

Matthew’s top tip: Think portable wherever possible. Relying on a large folder/sheets of paper/ or a heavy calm down kit that can’t be slimmed down into a portable unit limits the contexts it can be used in. Aim for lanyards/keyrings/lightweight boxes that can be easily used in other contexts, such as in assembly, at lunchtime or the playground.

Zones of Regulation

Make sure you are not falling into the habit of just using this as simply a daily check-in activity; make sure it’s being actively used as a remedial tool and that it’s personalised to the children who need it most. Some autistic children may need pre-teaching and it’s advisable to build up to a range of emotions and explicitly name them, for example, “it looks like you’re feeling excited”. Avoid the situation where pupils get hung up on ‘happy’ or ‘sad’ because they are the most commonly taught expressions and assumed to be the correct answers.

Matthew’s top tip: Make sure pupils know how to use the sensory kits that go underneath each zone to help them move on from just labelling emotions to actually being able to bring themselves back into the green zone. It needs to be at a child-friendly height, and where the behaviour might be triggered, such as lining up for lunchtime or in group work/play areas, as well as in the classroom. This can be backed up with laminated personalised versions of Zones that can go on desks or tucked into workbooks.

Calm down corners

Make sure they are adaptable to the needs of the child. As explained earlier, some children might need sensory deprivation to feel less anxious, others might feel more secure with brightly coloured rooms and textures in order to gain stimulation. 

Jo’s top tip: Plastering the walls with too many posters and calming strategies tends not to be that helpful for many children. It is often too generic, too wordy or too distracting. Instead, focus on providing something individualised and independently accessible, like personal calm down kits. These will need to be built up over time and used in the calm times as well as times of greater need, often with support from an attuned adult.  

Behavioural lanyards

These can work for some pupils, but make sure communication can flow two-ways and that they are safe to use with a particular individual as they can encourage yanking on teacher’s necks! The teacher can wear a lanyard that tells the child how they are feeling and the pupil can signal on their own lanyard their emotional state by way of return, or what they want and need. 

Reflection cards and restorative practice

Many children with special educational needs are capable of reflecting even though they may tell you otherwise. Thinking about what happened not only helps with what to do next time, but also assists children to cool down more quickly and prevent behaviour from escalating further. Comic strip conversations and reflection lanyards, such as the one from Twinkl below are a good example.

Nick Burnett and Margaret Thorsborne have written extensively on the topic of taking this a step further with restorative practice and this article in the European Forum for Restorative Justice has some great tips and case studies. Tes also have a free download that uses Widgit symbols to guide pupils through each stage.

Social stories

Used to help pupils understand social norms, social stories emphasise the positive action behind a particular behaviour (e.g. keeping our hands and feet to ourselves) and why it is desirable. They can be used as a pre-emptive tool and are really useful for helping reduce anxiety and overwhelm around major transitions to pupils, but also can be used as a reflective tool (i.e. what should have happened). 

Jo’s top tip: Co-created social stories are much more impactful and effective – the child may even like to draw what they picture is happening as you explain each step. Try not to recycle off-the-shelf examples.

Final points to remember

Ultimately, the goal of SEMH support, as highlighted by Darleen, Jo, and Matthew, is to create lasting change. This requires a three-pronged approach to implementation:

Ground in understanding: Ensure that every strategy is meticulously tailored to the individual pupil’s unique profile and needs.

Promote autonomy: Prioritise the development of pupil independence so they can utilise support strategies successfully on their own.

Teach proactively: Maximise the effectiveness of all strategies by teaching and practicing them before a crisis occurs.

About our contributors

Darleen Grimsby is the SENDCO and Inclusion Officer for Unity Education Trust. Her current research project is centred on providing mental health support for non-speaking autistic individuals, an area she is deeply passionate about. She has recently published a book Developing Educational Plans for Learners with SEND: How to Support Speaking and Non-Speaking Children in All Settings that provides practical ideas and resources to develop educational plans for learners to allow them to access the curriculum.

Matthew Lee is currently Vice Principal at Wales International School, shortlisted for the Tes International School of the Year 2025. He has been a senior leader in multiple award-winning inclusive international schools and has a strong background leading in both mainstream and specialist settings. He has been widely published, and writes about pastoral structures, leadership challenges and supporting marginalised groups in international schools. Matthew currently tutors on our iSENCO award.

Dr Joanna Wood is a practising Senior Educational Psychologist, and leads a team of educational psychologists at our sister company, Real Psychology. She is also a module leader on Real Training’s Senior Mental Health Lead Advanced Award. Prior to becoming an Educational Psychologist, Joanna spent fifteen years teaching in London secondary schools, including as Head of Science in a PRU.

As a part of Real Group, we’re pleased to announce that today, the company has transitioned from private ownership to being 100% employee owned.

Why transition to employee ownership?

This decision has been made after careful consideration of potential options, and is driven by the board of directors’ commitment to securing the long-term future and independence of Real Group Ltd. 

This ownership structure will allow Real Group to:

• Focus on its values and impact: Being owned by an Employee Ownership Trust (Real Group EOT Ltd) allows Real Group to maintain the core values and principles upon which the company was founded (inclusivity, integrity, positivity, curiosity, growth and sustainability). Our mission to transform lives and societies by delivering outstanding and inclusive professional development and services to educational settings will remain central to our strategic business plan.
• Maintain independence: This route ensures Real Group retains its independence, allowing us to continue the transformative work in schools across the UK and internationally that we have been known for over the last two decades.
• Continue to attract employees who share the company’s commitment and passion for inclusion: This will enable us to retain and recruit employees committed to carrying-on our work to support inclusive communities and promote positive mental health.
• Strengthen the existing company culture: Becoming employee owned will empower our teams to shape the future of the successful (and expanding) organisation they are contributing to.
• Be sustainable, stronger and future-ready: The change sets the company up to tackle the challenges of the future and establish long-term sustainability. Being employee owned provides a robust succession plan, securing the company’s future in the long-term.

What does this mean?

The EOT model is a change in ownership, but not a change in operation. The Trust will be governed by the newly formed board of trustees including long-standing company employees, one of the former owners – Dr Siobhan Mellor, and an independent trustee.

For the foreseeable future, nothing substantial will change. Dr Mark Turner remains as Managing Director and will continue to lead the company. This transition is about putting the building blocks in place so Real Group can flourish and continue its mission long into the future. Our delegates and partners should continue to expect high-quality course delivery, support and collaboration.

Dr Mark Turner, Managing Director, commented:

“We’re proud of the growth we’ve achieved and the significant positive impact we’ve had in the lives of children and young people with SEND over the last 20+ years. We look forward to continuing to work closely with our delegates and partners as we enter this exciting next stage of the company’s evolution.”

Dr Siobhan Mellor, Director of Pedagogy and Learning, added: 

“We have always aimed to be good employers, and this is a really exciting next step. This transition embeds a way for colleagues to grow together to continue our mission.” 

We are excited about this transition which secures our independence and commitment to supporting educational professionals and settings. Please feel free to contact us directly with any questions about what this new stage means for our valued partners and stakeholders.

Looking back on my years as a SENCo and deputy designated safeguarding lead, I often find myself revisiting the difficult conversations I’ve had with parents. I’ve talked about significant behavioural concerns, discussed sensitive and emotive safeguarding issues, and had to offer a conflicting opinion when stakes are high and emotions are strong.

The good news is that navigating these encounters, whilst never something you’ll look forward to, requires a skill set that can absolutely be developed and refined, moving you from simply dreading them to managing them productively. After all, developing effective partnerships with families is at the heart of being an effective teacher or SENCO. When you and a student’s parents are on the same page, everyone benefits. So you’ve already worked hard to lay the groundwork by keeping an open door policy, holding informal coffee mornings and being led by the cultural values of the families you are working with. But then something happens, and you know you are going to need to have a difficult conversation with a family and your heart sinks.

Those challenging conversations can sometimes feel a bit complex for us to navigate. Why is that? Research by Gartmeier et al. (2017) points to three fundamental differences between a teacher’s role and a parent’s role that impact communication. Understanding these is often the first step in being able to navigate challenging conversations with both empathy and efficiency! Whilst we can never avoid having to have challenging conversations with a parent or a carer, there are lots of ways to ensure it is a productive and ultimately positive experience.

Looking back on my years as a SENCO and deputy DSL, I often find myself revisiting the difficult conversations I’ve had with parents of children with SEND. I’ve talked about significant behavioural concerns, discussed sensitive and emotive safeguarding issues and had to offer a conflicting opinion when stakes are high and emotions are strong.

The good news is that navigating these encounters (whilst never something you’ll look forward to) requires a skill set that can be developed and refined, moving you from simply dreading them to managing them effectively. Having productive, difficult conversations early on in relationships can be a powerful way of building trust. After all, developing effective partnerships with families is at the heart of being an effective teacher or SENCO. When you and a student’s parents are on the same page, everyone benefits.

Why are these conversations so complex to navigate?

So you’ve already worked hard to lay the groundwork by keeping an open door policy, holding informal coffee mornings and being led by the cultural values of the families you are working with. But then something happens, and you know you are going to need to have a difficult conversation with a family and your heart sinks.

Those challenging conversations can sometimes feel a bit complex for us to navigate. Why is that? Research by Gartmeier et al. (2017) points to three fundamental differences between a teacher’s role and a parent’s role that impact communication. Understanding these is often the first step in being able to navigate challenging conversations with both empathy and efficiency! Whilst we can never avoid having to have challenging conversations with a parent or a carer, there are lots of ways to ensure it is a productive and ultimately positive experience.

The Relationship: Heart vs. Head

This is arguably the big one. For a parent, their child is their whole world. They have a deep, lifelong emotional attachment – and that’s absolutely how it should be! As someone who has also been on the parental side of a challenging conversation with a SENCO as well, I know my emotions were heightened and the tone and language used made a huge difference to how I felt as a parent and how I processed the information shared afterwards. If I’m being honest, it also influenced how I viewed the different professionals involved for quite a while later.

Equally, as a SENCO, you care deeply, but you also need to maintain an appropriate professional distance. This can allow you to be more objective about the student’s progress and behaviour in the classroom.

Key takeaways:

• Lead with empathy and kindness before sharing data or concerns. When talking with a parent, remember you’re speaking to someone whose emotions are heavily invested.
• Plan your approach. Decide what you want to say and why. Write a few key messages ahead of time to help you keep the conversation on track and, if necessary, refer back to three or four key things you want to cover in the meeting. Gather any necessary information or specific examples to support your points ahead of time. 
• Choose the right time and place. Pick a time when you and your parents are both calm and have plenty of time. Ensure the location is private and free from distractions. 
• Anticipate their reaction. Think about your parents’ perspective and how they might react. This will help you respond calmly and effectively.

The Responsibility: Forever vs. Today

Parents are responsible for their child in a massive, all-encompassing way – from their health to their happiness, often throughout their entire lives. It’s a huge, enduring but often incredibly rewarding role.

Teachers and SENCOs, however, have a time-limited instructional role. You’re focused on their academic and social growth right now. This boundary allows you to remain highly focused on specific school-based challenges and goals.

Key takeaways:

• Start with a positive. Begin by mentioning a positive aspect or strength to set a good tone before moving to the more difficult topic.
• Use clear and calm language. You have to be direct and honest, but this can be achieved with non-judgmental, compassionate language.
• Listen actively. Give them the chance to speak. Show you are listening by using phrases like “I can see why you’re concerned” and try to show you understand their point of view without necessarily agreeing.
• Keep the scope of the conversation focused on your shared goal: the learner’s success. If it goes off-topic, gently guide it back to the original purpose.

3. The Expertise: Parent Know-How vs. School Know-How

Let’s face it, no one knows the child better than the parent – their quirks, their history, their home life. They are the experts on their own child. But, as Gartmeier et al. suggest, they often have “low school-related expertise”. They may not understand the curriculum, the school’s systems, external processes, or pedagogical methods.

Conversely, SENCOs and teachers are the experts on the school system and best pedagogical practices. You know how things work! You also have the benefit of working with a range of learners, so will have a clearer oversight of what falls into the often wide range of developmentally or academically appropriate and what may require further exploration either via assessment, observation or referral to a specialist. This can also be helpful if you are trying to support a parent to navigate potentially overly simplistic data, for example, the parent who is extremely anxious about a two-month discrepancy between reading and chronological age, until you talk through their standardised scores showing they are making progress well within the normal range.

Key takeaways:

• Don’t assume parents understand school jargon or procedures. Your knowledge is a valuable asset, but it’s your job to translate it. Frame your advice in clear, actionable, and jargon-free ways. This is particularly important when discussing reports from other professionals.
• Share specific examples. Try to avoid vague statements and provide specific examples of behaviours or situations you want to address. For example, “we’ve observed that for the past three days Leo has walked to the back of the room for several minutes when given work to complete” instead of “his behaviour has been challenging”. State the impact on the individual pupils’ learning.
• Work together on solutions with your parents to co-produce a plan of action.
• Manage expectations. Understand that you may not reach a full resolution in a single conversation. It might be a process that requires ongoing discussion over time or requires other colleagues to be involved.

4. The unplanned challenging conversation or a planned conversation gone awry

The takeaways above often rely on a difficult conversation being planned ahead of time, but that is not always within our control. It happens to us all; you’re on the playground or rushing between classes and suddenly, an unexpected and angry parent is standing in front of you. Now what? Graham-Clay (2024) offers us a guide to navigating an unplanned, tough conversation with a parent.

When confronted, the first step is managing your own reaction.

• Breathe: Take a few deep breaths to stay calm.
• Acknowledge: Respond in a neutral tone and thank the parent for bringing the concern forward. This simple act validates their concern.
• Listen and paraphrase: Pay attention to their words and body language. Paraphrase the issue back to them. This ensures you clearly understand the problem and, crucially, makes the parent feel genuinely heard.

After the initial exchange, quickly decide if you can, or should, meet right now.

• Check capacity: Do you have enough time for a meaningful conversation?
• Consider backup: If the concern is serious, consider whether another staff member should be present.
• Find a good location: If you can meet immediately, invite them to continue in a private, safe location.
• Set the parameters by clarifying the timeframe (e.g., “I have 15 minutes”) and the intent of the discussion.

Once settled, use your best communication skills: active listening, strategic questioning, and observing non-verbal cues, aiming to end the conversation with clear next steps.

If you don’t have sufficient time or the issue requires investigation, politely book a planned meeting for the near future. Deferring the conversation shows the parent you heard them, but also gives you time to prepare and investigate the issue. You also get the added benefit of potentially meeting with a calmer parent later!

Whether planned or unplanned, things will on occasion become heated. It is useful to have a prepared ‘go-to’ phrase that you feel confident you can slowly and calmly deliver in the heat of the moment to de-escalate but also set a boundary for your own well-being on the kinds of interactions you will engage in.
“I can hear that you are frustrated, and I want to help solve this. But to do that effectively, we can only continue this conversation by communicating calmly”.

Look upon challenging conversations about SEND as an opportunity

The manner in which the current SEND system currently operates often forces parents into a combative role – last year 21,106 SEND tribunals were initiated.

Many parents are so used to having to fight their corner, or hearing from others that have had to do so, that they may be much more inclined to make inferences about what you are saying, or adopt a highly defensive position. This is especially true when things aren’t clearly communicated in context. If needed, try asking parents, “What worries you/what do you fear the most about X, Y, Z situation, or this proposed solution?” Offering the other person a chance to put across their perspective and be vulnerable helps us to listen with empathy and unpick their concerns.

As a SENCO, learning how to build trust as early as possible has never been more vital. Difficult conversations, handled well, are fantastic opportunities to cement a strong trust base that can carry you through potentially much more challenging things to navigate later down the line. The ultimate goal isn’t to avoid these difficult encounters, but to transform them into productive, dare I say, positive experiences.

As and when you know you need to have that difficult conversation, my message would be to give yourself enough time to plan for these conversations, but don’t delay them.

If you are naturally as conflict-avoidant as I am, remember to keep telling yourself, “the best time to start a difficult task is now”.

You’ll be glad you did.

Bibliography:

Gartmeier, M., Aich, G., Sauer, D., & Bauer, J. (2017). “Who’s afraid of talking to parents?”
Professionalism in parent–teacher conversations. Journal for Educational Research Online,
9(3), 5–11.

Graham-Clay, S. (2024) ‘Difficult Conversations With Parents: Practical Skills for Teachers’, School Community Journal, 34(1), pp. 61–84.

Katie Hickin is Real Training’s MEd Academic and Programme Lead. Prior to this, she has worked as a SENCO and Designated Safeguarding Lead in mainstream schools, and has also led specialist unit for children with complex needs.

We were once again delighted to celebrate with this year’s graduates at Middlesex University!

Donning their graduation caps and gowns, and celebrating in style, were our delegates who have completed Postgraduate Certificates, Postgraduate Diplomas, and Masters in Education.

Our Director of Pedagogy and Learning, Siobhan Mellor, and our SEND Programme Leader, Katie Hickin, headed up to Middlesex, with balloons and selfie frames, to commemorate our delegates’ hard work and their fantastic achievements!

The June 2025 Assessment Board outcomes included:

• 547 Modules successfully completed
• 23 Masters of Education awarded
• 14 Postgraduate Diplomas achieved
• 355 Postgraduate Certificates gained

Graduates from all around the world joined us for this very special day. Some even travelled impressive distances, such as all the way from California and the UAE!

Congratulations to all our 2025 graduates, we hope that your well earned qualifications have set you up for a successful future.

One of the graduates, Julie Cooper-Fear, shared her experience of studying: “I’ve had such a positive experience with Real Training – I found the tutor support to be incredible and every step of the way they have given me concise feedback and they’ve coached me through the process. They have really helped me grow and understand what I want to do in the future.

All of the knowledge and skills I have developed have made me into a very well-rounded educational professional – thank you!”

We’d like to wish our successful delegates a huge congratulations and best of luck in all their future plans!

If you’re feeling inspired by our graduates, then why not take a look at some of our courses to find out how you could take your career further?

Numbers of autistic children in mainstream schools continue to rise, including pupils with more complex needs, yet special schools are often still ahead of the curve when it comes to specialist pedagogy and SEMH strategies. Matthew Lee, Vice Principal at Wales International School in Abu Dhabi, has made it his mission to transfer the knowledge he has gained from working at special schools into the mainstream, to enhance the support offered.

Special schools are inclusive by design, always prioritising independence and viewing children as co-agents of learning. In this two-part blog series, he shares some of the strategies that, in his experience, can make the biggest impact on building independence and emotional resilience in autistic children, particularly those who are minimally or non-speaking individuals.

In this first article, he covers task structure, and both classroom and breaktime routines. Our thanks also go to Matthew’s long time friend and collaborator Shahida Jaffer, SEND consultant, for her ideas and support.

Key takeaways:

• Create clear, structured environments and task flows using TEACCH principles
• Make visual scaffolds for just about everything using PECS and Widgit
• Start off with real photos of things, include photos of the child and assign fun roles
• Adopt consistent classroom routines and visual timetables to manage transitions between years/classrooms
• Keep strategies going at breaktime and on visual trails around the school
• Adapt strategies for the individual child and keep trying different approaches

• As always, the key is to adapt strategies with the individual child and keep trying different approach

1. Create structure with the TEACCH approach

For many children with special educational needs, particularly those with autism, the concept of sitting down to do an activity can be daunting because they have no idea how long the task is going to take or that anything else is going to come after it. They may have a limited schema of time, verbal instructions may overwhelm them and if they can’t immediately see the value in completing the task, the pupil may simply struggle to find the motivation to get started. 

The TEACCH method (Treatment and Education of Autistic and related Communication-handicapped Children) is an evidence-backed approach and helps establish:

• Predictable, logical task sequences with clear structure and defined goals.
• Activities that play to children’s strengths and interests, fostering independence.
• Clear visual structure, zoning, and instructions for children to follow.

You can actually use TEACCH throughout your whole classroom using floor tape, dividers and visual instructions within specific zones.

Especially useful for some individuals are TEACCH task boxes and workflows. They consist of;

• Structured tasks provided in colour-coded boxes – tasks are made up in advance that are designed to provide the right level of challenge for the individual. The child checks their visual timetable in front of them and works their way through task boxes assembled on their left.  Once they are done, they place them in the finished pile on their right. The finish box and symbol helps them see their progress and reminds them to communicate to an adult they are done.

• Distraction-free workspace – with clear zoning to help students stay on task, while minimising sensory overload.  Everything they need to do the activity should be included within the task box.
  
• Symbols that emphasise the concept of finished – if a child understands that things can and will finish they are more likely to do the task.

• Visual timetables, task flows and instructions – wherever possible use real photos of the child’s face and give them something they can touch/hold to make using the timetable more engaging. As an alternative to providing the tasks already set out within the workstation, you can encourage children to go and collect a box with the corresponding colour/symbol on their individual visual timetable.
  
• Working towards cards and token systems – help build extrinsic motivation. Plenty of positive praise should follow – of the effort and not just the outcome. You can also use a token system where the child collects tokens as they complete tasks and trade-in tokens for time spent on an activity they enjoy. Make sure to plan ahead to the next reward after all the tokens are spent.

Matthew’s additional tips: “Group workstations can provide a useful alternative to individual workstations if you have several children all working at the same level and can be more inclusive. You can colour-code the tables by task type and rotate groups of children working on the same tasks together. If possible, try being flexible with your classroom environments so children who use them can choose when they arrive whether they want to sit at the group workstation or go to their individual one.”

2. Classroom routines and visual communication tools

Inclusion, of course, isn’t just about creating specific tasks and workstations for individuals, but proactively designing the whole-class experience to be as accessible as possible. As always, the right balance must be found between adaptations focused just on a particular individual and those that the whole class can follow. 

There isn’t the scope to cover adaptive teaching and scaffolding in detail, but you can read more in our blog: Adaptive Teaching; Understanding the Barriers and Enablers. In the meantime, some key things to think about in terms of classroom routines can be found below.

Daily class schedules – whereas individual task flows break down the specific task at hand, daily schedules show everything going on that day. Both have their place, but the nice thing about daily schedules is that the whole class can get involved.

Now and Next or First, Then boards – help children see quickly the component steps in a task or process. TAs and teachers can also draw on wipe-clean Now and Next boards to show their students that a reward is coming up so the child can easily visualise the benefit.

Break visuals – a couple of cards can be allocated to each child on their desk or throughout the classroom. This can help remind children to ask and help them achieve this without requiring a lot of words.

Managing expectations with morning meeting visuals – can remind children about social norms as well as who is present today. This reduces stress around changes in the environment and minimises the need for repeated questions.

Individual real picture schedules/mini-schedules – some children might prefer these organised into folders, some might prefer vertical schedules up on a classroom wall. Some educators, such as Dr Chris Reeve, founder of The Special Educator Academy in the US, have also observed some children prefer the timetable to be revealed gradually, or may prefer part-day to full-day. 

Whatever technique you use, make sure there is a clear mechanism to allow children to place finished tasks in a designated place. You might also introduce a symbol to remind children to check their personal visual timetable.

Thumbs up, thumbs down checks, ask for help cards, traffic light systems; introducing these into lessons helps pupils signal understanding without needing to rely on verbal methods which they may be too anxious or not have the vocabulary manage. Again the whole class can be encouraged to use them.

PECs and Widgit: PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) is a well-researched approach for autistic children who have more significant speech and language difficulties, and uses external motivators in return for engaging with comprehension-based tasks. 

In UK schools this is often well embedded, but this is not always the case internationally where teachers and LSAs may not have any training at all. 

Matthew’s additional tip: “In my school we use Widgit for a huge range of things. We do formative reviews every three months, as an example, and children all access the same assessments. It’s just a matter of scaffolding the essay comprehension questions with Widgit symbols. We also design vocabulary mats for every subject designed to go up to secondary level as part of our inclusion by design philosophy.”

3. Managing breaktimes and routines beyond the classroom

Photos of pupils’ faces – using these throughout the school for example on the backs of chairs during assembly time, on lockers etc can reduce anxiety and steer pupils towards where they should be sitting and what they should be doing.

Matthew’s additional tip: “In my school we use photos to help children quickly see who is currently using a resource or toy. We have a board in the playground where our five trikes are, for example, and pupils put their faces on the grid next to a picture of each trike. This helps other pupils quickly see who is using it – reducing the likelihood of meltdowns.”  

Assign roles and responsibilities – this can be both within the classroom and beyond, e.g. breakfast monitors, school librarian helpers, line leaders etc. It helps with belonging as well as structured routines – particularly as breaktimes can be unpredictable.

Portable PECS boards – allow children to continue to express what they want at breaktimes and lunchtimes, while talk buttons enable them to listen back to instructions and carry them round with them.

Widgit and Makaton hand signs in the playground – not only help children with SEND re-enforce their understanding of these symbols, but it gets the whole school involved as well. 

Matthew’s additional tip: “You can create school-wide trails for pupils to help them find their way around using a particular symbol. This can be especially useful for pupils transitioning into the school. One pupil has been shown how to use our animal trail to successfully get from their class to the bus drop off point independently.” 

Things to remember

Teaching professionals in specialist settings focus on enabling pupils to be as independent as possible first and foremost. All staff get to know their pupils incredibly well and are trained not to overwhelm them with language, learning how to utilise their strengths and maximise the use of visual supports and structured tasks and environments. All forms of behaviour are primarily viewed as sources of communication.

So many of these principles can be carried through into the mainstream and can be used to support children with a range of additional needs – not just autism.

The most important thing is to be curious and open when it comes to helping neurodivergent students, allowing the pupil to express what they want, being led by them and adapting over time. It is important to listen to the voices of the children when setting up and maintaining the environments that can help them to thrive. While the strategies mentioned in this blog won’t overcome every hurdle when it comes to task engagement, they hopefully can contribute towards a framework that minimises the chance of overwhelm or loss of focus. 

Matthew advises his staff to start with the tried and tested strategies mentioned above and then “keep trying alternatives until a collection is found that can best support the individual child.”

In the next blog Matthew will look at some key SEMH strategies.

Relevant courses

Take a look at our autism courses that can be studied as part of our Masters in Autism.

If you are an SEN professional working in an international setting you may be interested in our iSENCO award

Our Assistant SENCO programme is ideal for UK professionals who want to train for the role.

About Matthew Lee

Matthew is currently Vice Principal at Wales International School. He has been a senior leader in multiple award-winning inclusive international schools across three continents and has a strong background leading in both mainstream and specialist settings.

Matthew’s PhD focused on understanding of inclusion, inclusive leadership, and improving parental engagement with school choice. He has been widely published, and has written about pastoral structures, leadership challenges and supporting marginalised groups in international schools.

He is also a tutor on Real Training’s International Award in SEN Coordination (iSENCO) course that helps education professionals develop effective inclusive leadership skills in international settings.

Declan currently works as an Inclusion Teacher in a large mainstream school in Abhu Dhabi.

After starting his teaching career in South Africa he moved into special educational needs, becoming an SEN Teacher at a specialist autism school in the US, before moving to a special school in the UAE.

How has the iSENCO course helped make an impact at school?

The course helped me reflect on how we structure our IEPs, coming to the realisation that they were too long and not getting to the specifics quickly enough. We’ve slimmed this down into a single page document and changed the format to make targets more easy to track and communicate to parents. This has made communication between the team around the child much easier and improved how we liaise with parents.

We’ve also enhanced the support offered to pupils with their social, emotional and mental health. Part of my project looked at emotional regulation and I selected Zones of Regulation as a suitable SEMH intervention to support children with special educational needs. We did a six week staff training programme before rolling out the intervention, supported by the creation of sensory rooms and using sensory circuits. We’ve encouraged the teachers to make personalised boxes and toolkits. The feedback from staff and pupils so far has been incredibly positive and it has subsequently been expanded to all pupils in the primary school and we’ve also led a parent workshop on Zones of Regulation and charts linked to the intervention are now part of IEP meetings.

Inclusion staff are also more confident supporting pupils with SEND. I also identified staff training in SEND as an area that could be developed and created a plan for this. We now have regular CPD programmes led by the Inclusion Teachers every Monday, so far we’ve done colourful semantics, IEPs and Smart Targets, de-escalation strategies, sensory integration and sensory circuits.

Overall there’s been increased momentum in the school when it comes to inclusion and the course has given me a framework and opportunity to convey what I learned from working in a special school into the mainstream environment. We’re rolled out more assemblies and inclusion days to build on our inclusive culture and the parent community is also more engaged.

What made you choose the Real Training course over other options?

The iSENCO was recommended to me by our Head of Inclusion – he told me it was a great course and that I should look into it. I was doing another online course at the time with a different provider but having a few issues which had slightly put me off distance learning! He told me that Real Training’s online set up was really good and the tutor support was amazing.

How has the course helped your personal professional development?

It’s definitely helped me become a stronger leader and refine my personal leadership style. LSAs have commented how easy they now find it to approach me and how they value our relationship. I used to approach difficult conversations with some trepidation but I now feel well equipped to have these productively.

It’s also really helped my organisational skills – I already knew the pedagogy and intervention side of things, because of my background in special schools, but being able to learn how to actually coordinate provision at a higher level has been really beneficial and was lovely to learn.

There’s a huge demand for SENCO and inclusion teachers in the UAE now and gaining a good quality postgraduate qualification in SEN can really expand your career. Having Real Training’s iSENCO on my CV has made a big difference and helped me secure a new role in a really good school. Hopefully my next step is as a SENCO and then Head of Inclusion.

What did you enjoy most about the course? What do you think other international SEN professionals would find most valuable?

Definitely the leadership development and being able to analyse and evaluate SEND processes and coordination in my school. 

I also really liked the project comparing how SEND was delivered in my school compared to another. Going into another setting – seeing what things work and taking back ideas to improve your own SEN provision – that’s really invaluable for SEN professionals.

What are the top three things you have implemented since/during your study or are planning to implement?

• Rolling out Zones of Regulation throughout the Primary school and for pupils with SEND in secondary
• The restructuring of our IEPs 
• Upskilling the inclusion department. Moving forward I’d like to expand the SEND CPD to all teachers as well as supporting them with early identification of needs.

From improved self-esteem to reduced behavioural incidents and improved attendance, a body of evidence points towards ELSAs (Emotional Literacy Support Assistants) being a valuable resource for pupils in UK schools. It’s testament to the programme’s popularity that the number of Local Authorities adopting ELSA has more than doubled in a decade, now standing at over 170.

In this article we take a look at some of the key ways ELSAs can support children’s mental health and what research studies and feedback from schools can tell us about the programme’s success.

ELSAs: A brief overview

Specifically trained to support emotional literacy or build emotional literacy skills, ELSAs learn to adapt a range of techniques and hands-on activities to help children recognise, understand and manage their emotions to meet jointly agreed, often very specific goals.

Practitioners receive training from educational psychologists in a wide range of skills including, active listening, emotional regulation techniques based on cognitive behavioural therapy, grief support, anger management and positive psychology.

How do ELSAs help improve children’s mental health?

1. Developing emotional understanding and vocabulary

Through shared engaging activities, relationship building, stories and discussions, ELSAs help children build a vocabulary for their emotions, enabling them to communicate their needs more clearly and understand the feelings of others. 

Working collaboratively with a pupil, ELSAs create SMART goals to help develop emotional literacy in a particular area. For example, being able to ask for help when there is conflict in the playground, being able to recognise when other people are feeling sad, or demonstrating understanding that other people might show their feelings in different ways.

Example activities/approaches: Puppets, social stories, emotion stones, mirror games, feeling cards, activities that require you to match bodily sensations to emotions etc.

2. Coping with bereavement, loss or family break-up

Bereavement, such as the loss of a grandparent, is a normal part of childhood. Not all loss needs individualised support at school. Rather, children are referred to ELSA when they are unable to move on from a bereavement, the loss is particularly traumatic or when there is a difficult family break up. 

In these circumstances, ELSAs help young people understand the specific challenges they are facing due to their grief. Instead of giving direct advice, they guide individuals to reflect on their concerns and explore coping strategies and solutions together. 

Example activities/approaches: Creating memory boxes, journals, or drawing pictures to help children remember and connect with the person they have lost. Using models to discuss the positives of mum’s house and dad’s house, suggesting relaxation techniques or encouraging physical activity, and also using therapeutic stories.

3. Managing emotions, including anger

Typically ELSAs start by breaking down big targets around managing emotions into smaller steps. For example, a pupil may first need to learn how to identify angry facial expressions in others, before they recognise their own bodily symptoms and are able to name three things that trigger their anger. Only then will the ELSA start teaching and setting targets around the use of coping strategies. 

Breaking things down step-by-step like this and making the links between bodily sensations and emotions is often particularly helpful for children with autism.

Example activities/approaches: Considering other emotions that underlie anger; sadness/fear etc. and teaching ways to recognise and identify anger. To support this, ELSAs may use puppets and games to explore self-expression. ELSAs may also work with tools such as the Incredible 5 Point Scale, as well as teaching basic CBT techniques, such as challenging negative thoughts, recognising bodily feelings and progressive relaxation.

4. Building self-esteem, resilience and belonging

A lot of ELSA work is based on Borba’s five building blocks of self-esteem; security, selfhood, affiliation (a sense or belonging or relatedness), mission (sense of purpose) and competence, (in terms of developing awareness of personal strengths and how to build on them). 

By guiding children through exercises linked to the above, ELSAs promote positive self-talk, help children set aspirational goals and develop a positive self-image. They are also trained to help promote a growth mindset, drawing on the work of Carol Dwek. 

Example activities/approaches: Using Strengths Cards to encourage pupils to self-select their positive attributes as well as online tools to help them build personal profiles, and teaching students how to set effective goals. The ELSA may draw on positive psychology techniques as well as motivational interviewing and models of change. They may encourage pupils to use self-esteem diaries, vision boards, and/or gratitude diaries.

5. Facilitating social skills and dealing with conflict

ELSAs often work with individuals and small groups to develop essential social skills such as communication, empathy, and conflict resolution. This could include conflict with peers or teachers. They may develop pupils’ active listening skills, or work on specific goals such as building awareness of how tone of voice can convey meaning. They may also teach conflict reduction techniques, such as keeping calm and engineering ‘win-win’ situations where both parties can benefit.

Example activities/approaches: Role playing with the ELSA or another friendly, socially confident pupil, working through friendship scenarios, using empathy games or cards. Videos and photos of social situations (especially ambiguous ones) can be helpful, as can comic strip conversations and problem solving by matching scenarios with sticky notes for feelings, actions or thoughts.

6. Helping children manage difficult transitions

When used appropriately, ELSAs can act as a bridge between the pupil, parents, and teachers (both current and future). With appropriate consent, they can share insights about the child’s needs, ensure their voice is captured and advocate for consistent strategies.

ELSAs can help children name feelings around key transitions, manage their expectations and break down changes into smaller steps to help them seem more manageable.

Example activities/approaches: Size of the problem, using positive psychology to help reframe transitioning to new situations, creating transition memory boxes or craft work, helping pupils visualise their new environment through maps, drawings and encouraging problem-solving skills.  A key activity is often working with the child to make a booklet /PowerPoint / video about themself to be used by the new school.

7. Managing anxiety

ELSAs draw on cognitive behavioural techniques to help pupils to challenge negative thoughts, recognise bodily symptoms of anxiety and become aware of thought spirals. They develop personalised coping strategies for students and work on problem solving skills.

Example activities/approaches: Three houses (worry house, dream house, happy house) therapeutic storytelling, breathing techniques, size of the problem exercises. ELSAs may also encourage mindfulness exercises, devoting scheduled “worry time”, or using tools such as an anxiety scale to identify and manage problems.

[Some example ELSA resources – many more can be found on the excellent ELSA support website.]

What’s the evidence that ELSA is effective?

There is a clear link between emotional regulation and children’s ability to learn. A meta-analysis of over 213 school based studies has shown that students participating in social and emotional literacy programmes achieved an 11-percentile-point gain in academic achievement on average, compared to their peers. 

Given that ELSA is just one means by which to model social and emotional literacy, however, what evidence do we have to indicate it is the best approach?

Measuring impact in an empirical way is challenging. Firstly, it’s a big ask to implement this type of academic research (including control groups) within school environments. Secondly, the way in which the ELSA programme is delivered varies considerably from school to school (indeed one of its strengths is its adaptability). All of this is confounded by lack of consensus on how to best measure gains in emotional literacy. 

This being said, there are qualitative and quantitative studies that build a picture of success. A recent 2024 study, for example, conducted across 18 schools showed that ELSA had a significant positive impact on children’s emotional literacy scores, when analysing results from a social and emotional support assessment (SESA) questionnaire. A control group was used which showed no progress.

A much larger landmark study led by Sheila Burton, (who trained the very first ELSAs and developed the ELSA project), has also demonstrated improved scores on a teacher rated Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire (SDQ) administered pre and post-intervention. In addition, the primary and secondary pupils involved in the study showed improved scores on teacher-rated measures of emotional literacy. It’s worth noting, however, that improvements were also seen in the control group, albeit to a much lesser extent.

More specifically connected with individual SMART targets, a very small study conducted by a team at the University of Southampton showed measurable improvement in the behaviour of three children, prior to and after an ELSA intervention. 

Teacher and TA observations showed; 

• a reduction in aggressive incidents both in class and in the playground 
• an increase in the number of times one pupil was observed playing an active role in his peer group from 35% to 63%
• an increase in one of the pupil’s average percentage classroom time spent on task from 51% to 81%.

There are many more studies (some ongoing) and evaluation reports from Local Authorities available on the ELSA Network, as well as a considerable analysis of qualitative feedback – some of which we’ll come onto next.

What do headteachers, parents and students say?

A recent 2024 survey conducted by the County Psychological Service and Cumberland Council showed that headteachers had overwhelmingly positive things to say about the ELSA programme. Some of the comments are replicated below;

“The children supported appear to be better engaged in lessons and back on track academically (one child is now exceeding their academic targets). Attendance and punctuality has increased, where this has been identified as a concern. In one case, a child decreased their minutes late by 1346 over a term.” 

“Reduced number of seclusions, suspensions and exclusions.”

“Our ELSA has made a big difference to the lives of the children she works with.”

“Our long-term cases show huge transformation in our older children and we have a large current caseload of children who struggled on their first term in Yr3 but are already making positive steps both inside the classroom and on the playground. The support of ELSAs in this is invaluable.”

“In the case of bereavement, the parent praised the school for the quick and timely intervention of support, which “made a significant, positive difference.” 

Research from Cardiff University using semi-structured interviews also found that the majority of parents rated ELSA to have positively impacted on SEMH, commenting that skills learned within the ELSA sessions transferred to the home context.

There is also evidence to suggest pupils themselves rate the intervention highly; all participants in a study of 53 primary school pupils reported the ELSA programme to be effective, with analysis of structured interviews highlighting common themes around the importance of the relationship they could build with their ELSA and how they felt it helped them build resilience. Other studies capturing student voice show similar positive results (Purcell, Kelly & Woods, 2023), (Purcell, 2023).

Programme impact: ELSA perspectives

ELSAs often comment on their increased confidence supporting emotional literacy and the transformational impact of the unique ELSA-child relationship dynamic on children’s wellbeing. They also value educational psychologist supervision.

Some comments from different studies are replicated below.

“I have increased knowledge of emotional literacy in myself and others which has helped to increase my confidence personally and as a teaching assistant. I feel that I have the resources to help me improve my effectiveness to deal with difficulties due to emotional problems.”  (ELSA quoted in Dodds & Blake, 2015)

“I think we get to see the bigger picture as well, teachers just see this disruptive child who’s, you know, causing problems in the class, whereas we see that there are wider issues. There’s a reason why they are behaving in that way.” (ELSA quoted in Mann, 2014)

“ELSA has made a huge difference, I think for some of these children because they’ve missed so much with Covid… social skills, friendships, not just academic. It’s been an emotional, holistic loss.”  (ELSA quoted in report published by Staffordshire EP Service)

ELSAs taking part in the WELL project, run by CPS Cumberland also gave the following feedback.

“I have had one child who had no confidence and after working through our session was able to get up on stage and perform in a dance in front of thousands of people.”

“The skills I learnt doing my ELSA training underpin every other intervention I run.”

“Significant improvements in attendance of one student 44%-86% when self esteem was primary factor in low attendance, following 10 weeks of ELSA intervention.”

Skills for life

The presence of a skilled ELSA in a school can have a profound and lasting impact on the mental health and overall wellbeing of all children, including those with special educational needs. 

By providing targeted support, fostering emotional literacy, and building resilience, ELSAs are not just addressing immediate needs, but equipping children with essential skills to navigate their emotional landscape successfully throughout the rest of their lives.

If you train to become an ELSA you will be welcomed into an inspirational network of thousands of professionals, joining a supportive community of TAs and educational psychologists committed to sharing ideas and improving the mental health of young people.

Find out more

Find out more about training to become an ELSA as part of the Level 5 Specialist Teaching Assistant Apprenticeship

Already implementing ELSA or thinking about starting an ELSA programme? Read our guide to maximising their effectiveness.